So When Does the Apathy Set In?

I should have reached that point already. You know that point; I'm sure many of you are at or have long ago passed that point.

The point where you just can't bring yourself to care anymore.

It's the point when you know that your team isn't going to make the playoffs, and you've come to terms with that fact. You start analyzing what needs to be done in the offseason to make sure this doesn't happen again. You pick your teams to follow in the postseason. You watch the games your team plays with a sense of detachment, a sense that if they can't bring themselves to care about what they put on the ice why should you bring yourself to care about watching it.

God, I wish I was there.

The thing is; I really suck at goodbyes. And that's what these final games of the season are for me - one drawn-out, agonizing goodbye.

As Buffalo sports fans, we run on hope. This is the ugly point in the season when our supply runs out, and we're left bitter once again. Without that hope of making the playoffs and the hope of a championship that comes with them, we begin to turn on our athletes and each other.

I'm not saying that well-informed criticism isn't good and even necessary when it's so obvious that changes need to be made. It's when those criticisms get personal that I get defensive. If I hear one more "I hate Ryan Miller" after he lets in a soft goal or "Pat Kaleta's a pansy who has no place on this team" I'm going to scream.

Also, I get saying that this team lacks toughness, but I'm so sick of hearing "These overpaid jerks have no heart." Though it may not always look like it, there are guys on this team that have a sense of playing for us and playing with a purpose every night. The problem is, the guys that do show up to play every night don't always have the talent to make it count. My sister, who is a highly competitive high school athlete, always replies to the "heartless" comment in the same way. She tells me, "Do you honestly think that a professional athlete, who has been trained for years to compete at his highest level, doesn't want to win every night?"

I'll admit that, unfortunately, the question does give me reason to pause at times with this team. However, I've come to a conclusion about them. They're like the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz - heart but no brains. They've shown how much playing for this city means to them - look no further than their charity work or the win over San Jose to see that. This doesn't mean, though, that I'm letting them off the hook. They need to grow up, to learn that their stubborn way of doing things isn't the best way, and I guess if that means letting some of them go or even letting Lindy go, then I'm going to have to accept that it's best for the team.

I guess all that I really want to say is that I'm not happy with this team right now, but I don't want to get rid of them all, either. I'm attached to these boys in an admittedly unhealthy way, and it hurts to see how quickly everyone has jumped off the bandwagon. Call me a homer; I won't deny it. I'm a fan but one who is trying to see a reasonable answer to the debacle this season has become. I'm mad, furious even, that they let this season slip away, but they're my team. Do I want some changes made? Of course. Do I want every guy traded and every front-office member fired? No.

What do I really want?

I want to stop caring.