Monday, December 22, 2008

Dear Santa...

With only three days left until Christmas, I figured that Muckers and Grinders needed to get into the holiday spirit.

With the blizzard around us and the clock ticking down for last minute shopping, I figure that even the athletes of Buffalo must be thinking about what will be under their tree come Christmas morning.

With that in mind, I present a look at some of the Christmas wish lists of our very own Bills and Sabres, written in their own words to the big man at the North Pole:

Dear Santa,
This Christmas, all I would like is a win to close out the season. When I said I wanted consistency last year, I didn't mean having the same record all the years I was a coach. That makes me very frustrated, and if you could see my face right now, I'm certain you would know. All that being said, I have tried to be a good coach this year; ignore all those "naughty" people who may say otherwise.
Enthusiastically waiting for your arrival,
Dick Jauron
PS: I've heard many people say that I should ask for a personality this Christmas. I do not know what that is, but it sounds great - maybe you could leave one in my stocking?

Dear St. Nick,
I don't know what I did to tick you off last year, but it had to be something big to get that 10-game losing streak under the tree. If you're thinking of that again this year, just send coal; I can use it to light a fire under my team.
Lindy Ruff

Yo Santa!
i know i wuz pretty naughty this summer and everything, but i tried to do right by taking the blame for the running game being so bad (when even u know that wasn't my fault). i guess all i want this year is for everyone to forget my little "problem" this summer - oh yeah - and a new offensive scheme that gets me more carries would be nice, too.
Thanx!
Beast Mode!

Santa,
Save all the gifts for the poor and sick children of the world, all I'm asking for is world peace.
Sincerely,
Paul Gaustad

Dear Mr. Claus,
As Yoda says, "A Merry Christmas will you..." - oh screw it! I just want a job next season, ok?
The best third string QB ever,
JP Losman

Dearest Santa,
I tried to be a good boy this year, taking my naps on time and sticking to the system as best as I could. All I really want are some better hockey sticks, maybe ones that aren't made of glass that shatter on contact.
Thank you oh so much,
Jason Pominville

St. Nick,
I'm just going to keep asking for the same thing every year until I get it, and I'll hold out the milk and cookies until I do. I want BIG $$$. I know that my Pro Bowl status should be enough to convince you of how nice I've been; don't listen to the fans who only pay attention when I mess up.
No treats for the reindeer either if I don't get it,
Jason Peters

Santa,
Take Max back to the North Pole with you this year. I'm sure he'd like it up there; he can give away things for a living then.
Emphatically,
Sabres fans everywhere

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. That was hilarious.

Katie said...

Thanks! I'm glad someone appreciates my lame attempt at humor. haha

Jennifer said...

I love Lindy's letter. It sounds just like him!

dani said...

Perfection.

If you're thinking of that again this year, just send coal; I can use it to light a fire under my team.

Oh... Lindy knows how to burn.

Katie said...

I love Lindy's letter. It sounds just like him!

Thanks, Jennifer! It took me forever to think of what Lindy would want, so I ended up just letting him be his wonderfully snarky self.

Katie said...

Perfection.

Thanks, Sabre Sister!

Oh... Lindy knows how to burn.

That he does; I think we've seen that enough times this season already!

Shelby Rose said...

My favorite letter is the Marshawn Lynch one, haha. Dude needs some spellcheck.

Sarah said...

Dear Katie,

You will die when you see this YouTube video, assuming youve never seen it before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eElspvew7rw

Sarah (Matrak)

Katie said...

Dude needs some spellcheck.

I see Beast Mode as one of those "texting language works in real writing" kind of people. I'm glad that came across! haha

Katie said...

Sarah, I'm so glad you left a comment; this is a pretty sweet surprise (hope the semester ended well)!

You will die when you see this YouTube video, assuming youve never seen it before.

I heard about that little incident before, but I'd never seen actual footage of it. That video is made of all things awesome! haha